In today’s world, the first sexual experience of most people is a sinful one. It comes in some form of premarital sex, from hooking up to an engaged couple having sex before their wedding date.
A couple that maintains their virginity until their wedding night is rare. Kenny Luck recently posted an article on The Christian Post: “Sexual Atheism: Christian Dating Data Reveals a Deeper Spiritual Malaise.” He reports on a study conducted by ChristianMingle.com, where Christian singles between the ages of 18 to 59 were asked, “Would you have sex before marriage?” The response? Sixty-three percent of the single Christian respondents indicated yes. He goes on to say that nearly nine out of ten self-proclaimed single Christians are in practice, sexual atheists. He defines a sexual atheist as “God having nothing to say to them on the subject of consequence or, at least, anything meaningful enough to dissuade them from following their own course of conduct.”
Some have argued that something so pleasurable could never be wrong or sinful. The Bible is consistently positive about sex within marriage, and completely opposed to sex outside of marriage. Now we live in a world where unlimited sexual activity is now considered an entitlement. The real issue is, from whom are we going to get our instructions from about sexual activity—God, or the world around us?
It is old and forgotten news, but in 1994 U.S. News and World Report and Time magazine both reported on the “most authoritative” survey ever on sex in America. The University of Chicago’s National Opinion Research Center found that “fidelity reigns.” Married couples have the most sex and are most likely to have orgasms.” “Most couples reported marital bliss in bed; they have sex more often and enjoy it more than singles.” One recent sex study showed that the most sexually fulfilled women in America were conservative Protestants.
It should be obvious, but sex did not evolve, nor was it the result of sin. God designed it and did so for a purpose. Marriage was instituted for the purpose of developing a unique union between one man and one woman, for life. A man and a woman leaving their families of origin “shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). God placed sex exclusively in the context of that union. He not only put His stamp of approval on having sex in marriage, but also makes the sexual fulfillment of one’s spouse a personal priority.
“Each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her sexual rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Cor. 7:2, 3). So important is sexual relations in a marriage, that we “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time” (vs. 5). And you must have really good reason for doing so, “that you may devote yourselves to prayer.” Think about what the Word of God is saying: “but then come together again.” Even prayer is not to be so important that you neglect your sexual relationship for an extended time. Sex from God’s perspective is that sexual desire is to be regularly fulfilled at home between a husband and a wife, and never withheld by either spouse.